Woes of Old Age

I used to think that people who didn't want to live to a wise old age were crazy. Why deny yourself an extended existence on this over-populated, over-utilized, under-valued planet when there are so many great things to live for? But seriously, I can't imagine dying at 50. I want to see what the year 2080 looks like. I want to be around when those scientology nut-jobs finally crack and throw themselves into a volcano. I want to know how hot the planet gets and how many natural disasters we have to experience and how much farther the ice caps have to melt down before certain unnamed politicians finally admit that global warming is a serious problem.

Then I stumbled across this picture of Sylvester Stallone today. My first thought was what the HELL happened? I mean, he was never Brad Pitt or David Beckham good looking, but at least his face wasn't melting the last time I saw him. Then I started thinking....OMG.....what if I look like that when I'm 60? Is it possible? Could my chin touch my boobs, touch my knees by 60? Will my cheeks droop like the jawls of a Bulldog and my back look like that of a Shar-Pei in another 30 years?

Maybe dying at 50 is the answer- if being 60 has anything to do with looking like the above-referenced photograph. Or, maybe the answer is to take care of yourself. I'm sure that years and years of alcohol abuse, steroid usage, and his recent stint with human-growth hormone hasn't helped much with keeping Sly looking svelte. I just pray that he doesn't decide to make Rocky XXVIIII - Return of the Crypt-Keeper.

I gotta go eat some vegetables and lotion my skin now. Pray for me to keep some sense of my 27 year old self when I'm 60, please.